There is a tradition in India still followed in the villages mostly that people call each other referring to each other by some relation which in other countries and english language cannot seem to match upto...
There are so many different names for different relations and even the same relation has more than one name depending on the region they are from. Each relation has a beautiful reference, respect and affection associated with it and it was a shocker when I first visited US and saw everyone call one other by names, even kids to their teachers and elders.
When I visit the villagers the way people are talking to one another it would be hard to tell if two people who are talking actually belong to a family or just part of the village...
One such migrated individual from the village to the city is our vegetable vendor who brings only leafy vegetables in the mornings and goes on the usual route that he probably has been taking for more than 25yrs...
I used to see him from when I was in school and he, having the roots from the village, addresses people with some relation like daughter, mother, brother... and we reciprocate too...
I call him "thatha" which is used for grandparent or respectful reference for the elderly... and he calls me "thalli" or "amma" which means mother but is also used affectionately on the girl child ..
It was yet another usual day of his route calling us out loudly from the street to come & take the vegetables and as he was conversing with me that day, my mom came to the balcony & she called out to him...
She had put aside some of our dresses to be given away to the needy so she asked him do u have any daughters or granddaughters that can use my kids dresses.
He replied unperturbed no ”amma“ (which refers as mother or respectful address for a lady) I don't have anyone. Our immediate thought was probably it is all boys .. he paused for a bit and said few years back my wife, son & daughter were travelling and met with an accident and none of them survived ...I am alone and I sell these vegetables to afford a living...
Both me & my mom were too shocked to utter any word and hoped that our silence conveyed something that we wanted to...
All this he said while he was still gathering the vegetables for me...
He left and it took some time for me to settle with what he had said...
I couldn't fathom what made him carry on his life with no trace of grief. He is still the bubbling, friendly, caring vegetable vendor that I have always seen him like...
Though I had moved from that place but even my mom did not know in all these years what he had gone through, he never let this tragedy show in anyway. Was it being immersed in work or was it the relations he formed along the streets he went that he greeted, joked and cared for every morning with so many people... that made him accept what had happened and still move forward just like any other day that even the people who see him everyday never got to see or know about it in so many years.
I see so many educated overwhelmed over the simplest of the situations, people heartbroken, depressed sometimes suicidal for one person or situation in their life. And here I just realized that there is someone who is not educated in terms of society but so wise and with so much strength to move on in life with one of the greatest tragedy of life....
It made me wonder are our kids really learning what it takes to live in this complex world... will just the education as it is seen as academics help them deal with situations, deal with relations... will money & power that we push them to pursue solve all their problems or will that itself create problems.
In society today we see so many crimes the root cause in most of the cases is money… And on the other side there are still many such amazing people as my vegetable vendor living such profound lives in utter simplicity inspite of great complexities....
He didn’t have power, money, position but he had liveliness & not loneliness inspite of what happened to him, he had peace even when his life was torn apart, he had love & caring even if he didn't have that to share with whom he called his own, he made all that he came across his own ....
That vegetable vendor "thatha" gave me one of the greatest lessons of life.... that Life is much bigger than any tragedy in life and that there are always people to share love & care, you only have to feel belonging....
And in this belongingness is hidden the greatest strength of life....
