Friend or Foe ? How do you know ?‏

Along the journey of life our mind is continuously forming judgments and concepts; some are fleeting while some seem to make strong impressions...

Among many people we come across in life, we assume some as our friends and think that they will be by us and may be some even if not necessarily as foes but who we prefer to not even come across....

At a recent incident some such concepts were blown away for me...
One of my Uncle has not been well and when I went to see him, in his feeble condition he asked me or my sister to stay back at their place which we found strange that why he wanted us to stay. Both his kids are in US and in such health condition he & his wife were somehow managing with help from extended family. On his request I stayed back that night and I am so glad that I did.

That night which I stayed up taking care of him was something I will never forget. Although it seemed like I was staying for him in fact he did me a favour to let me experience the profound realities of life. It put me in close quarters to life, death, sickness, ageing, relations and so many such aspects. It taught me many lessons of life in the most practical way that I could have learnt which I will share in another post.

By morning he got really sick and it was just me & my aunt at home with him and when we called the doctor about his condition he said he needs to be taken to the hospital immediately. My aunt was in panic and we called other family members but all of them are at such distances that even though they live in the city, we couldn’t take a chance to wait for them to arrive.

Sometimes you wonder how people just show up as if someone answered our calling for help.

At that instant walked in father in law of my uncle's son. These in laws have been quiet a trouble for my uncles family and his son and it had almost come to a point that they would prefer not to come across them as much. But that morning when he showed up there was no choice, we told him the situation, he called the ambulance and was there the entire time and stayed back at the hospital that night too. He was doing whatever he could in his capacity and but for his timely help it would have been a challenge...

This situation took me by surprise and it left me thinking, my uncle spends a lot of time with his friends, in fact more with them than his own family or extended family and in a situation where he really needed support none of his friends were there. They didn’t show up until a few days in the hospital and here was someone who didn’t necessarily have a good relation with my uncle became a strong support.

Usually in such situations our mind and people around us encourage to form new concepts that these friends are no good, they didn’t come to help in time and some such conclusions but to me it seemed like it was not to form new concepts but to break all concepts. Yes it might strike or even perhaps hurt that those whom you think will stand by you are nowhere to be seen. But if we really see if not those we expected yet someone unexpected does come over to help.

We don't know when or how and who will come & stand by us in the need of the hour ... Friends have a role to play in life. Don't just rely on them and revolve life around them and don't hate or avoid anyone. Along life we form such craving and aversions and when we people we love are not by us it tends to make us averse to them and when people that we think we hate our ego doesn’t seem to allow asking for help. If only that ego could dissolve even that hate can transform to love. In reality we never know who is the one to help us in what situations.

It seems like there is no friend or foe, it is just people sharing life... sharing different flavors of relations and human emotions and while our mind still attempts to reason it out with some logic, at the end of the day we do witness that there is a power that makes things happen in a way that we couldn't have planned our life...

Life has its way of teaching us time and again to break out of concepts and judgments, the question is , Are we willing to ?